Choosing Between A Big Wedding or An Elopement

If you’re reading this than you are probably struggling with the decision of choosing between a big wedding or an elopement. In this article I’m going to be explaining the difference between the two of them. I’ll also go through the pros and cons of each.

I will state ahead of time that ultimately you have to decide what’s best for you. I’ve been to and captured large weddings that have been amazing and I have captured tons of intimate weddings and adventure elopements that hold a special place in my heart. They are two very different types of weddings and every couple has different values. So there isn’t a right or a wrong way to have your wedding. You just need to decide which is the best for you and your wedding day experience.

I’ll try to be as completely unbiased in this article as possible but just so you know ahead of time, I personally connect with adventure elopements and intimate weddings more for the sole reason that couples get quality time together doing what they love on their wedding day with no pressure from anyone else.

What Is A Wedding and What Is An Elopement?

Before we begin to compare the differences between a wedding and an elopement, I would like to define what each of them are. I’d also like to define intimate weddings and adventure elopements because these are different variations of the two.

First in general an elopement is an intentional wedding day where the focus is primarily on the couple’s love for each other. It’s more simplistic and tailored to what the couple wants for their day by allowing them to decide who is there, where it is, and what they are doing without pressure from family or friends that comes with a large wedding.

Whereas a traditional wedding is a highly structured party to celebrate the love of a couple uniting themselves together surrounded by a large number of family and friends. These weddings typically have a large emphasis on the guests experience and sometimes come with a lot of outside pressure by those family or guests to do things the couple might not want to do (but not always).

Intimate weddings and adventure elopements or variations of the two. Intimate weddings are more intentional where you only invite your closest family and friends to your wedding. They can be in your backyard, national park, or a new destination. The main difference is the intentionality behind them and who you invite. An adventure elopement is precisely what it sounds like, typically it’s only you and your partner creating a wedding day full of adventure in a place you love. The day can be anything from hiking, flying in a helicopter, exploring glaciers, etc….

Pros and Cons of A Wedding VS An Elopement

Here Are Some Key Factors For Deciding Which To Choose

Stress

If planning a large wedding is stressing you out or even the thought of planning a large wedding, then it’s probably a great sign that you should elope. Elopements are typically far easier to plan if you hire a great and knowledgable photographer who helps you with planning assistance (like me!). They will help from finding the perfect location or locations, permit assistance if needed, logistic planning, timeline creation, in depth elopement guide, and so much more.

However if you love to plan large parties and feel energized doing so, then it’s probably a great sign that a large wedding is for you. Being surrounded by all your favorite people and dancing the night away is amazing for people that love to be the life of a party and are extremely sociable.

Cost

Most couples typically start to get overwhelmed quickly by how much a large wedding can cost. In some cases a wedding venue alone can be 10k just for the day (I know, crazy!). If you choose to elope you can have the world’s most epic view and if you needed a permit for the location it typically only costs between $50-$250 depending on where you go.

In most cases that $10k that you spent solely on your wedding venue, you could take and put it towards an epic elopement that also includes your honeymoon. Talk about saving a bunch of money. This is huge for couples that are paying for the wedding completely on their own. However if you do have family helping you pay for it and you aren’t covering as much cost, then I can understand where cost might not be as stressful.

I wrote a full article breaking down the average cost between a wedding and an elopement for you to check out. To summarize it an average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $35,000 according to a study done by The Knot, while the average cost of an elopement in 2023 was $10,000-$15,000.

Focus And Experience

What you want from your experience on the day and where you want the main focus to be is another huge factor in your decision. Like I stated in the pros/cons/ list, weddings primary focus and experience will revolve around your guests and their entertainment. Of course your marriage is also a focus but at times it can get lost and the priority of entertaining your guests and talking with them can take away from your partner. However if you enjoy the large party aspect then you’ll love this.

As being a wedding guest and also having photographed large weddings I have noticed that most wedding days are pretty identical and I’m sure you have noticed this as well. There are some things that will vary like ceremony traditions, different speeches, or a unique surprise that might be included. But in general they are pretty much a copy and paste event.

Elopements and intimate weddings put a heavier focus on you and your partner’s relationship being the center of the focus and doing what excites you. You get to be in full control of what your day will look like, who will be around you, where you will be, and the traditions or no traditions that you include.

It’s highly unlikely that any elopement will look alike. It’s a very unique experience and one that is very fulfilling both as a couple and as a photographer. The days are typically pretty adventurous, stress free, and go with the flow.

Guests

One key difference between them is the guests size. A traditional wedding will typically vary from 100-400+ guests. Whereas an elopement typically is 20 guests or less although sometimes they can be more.

Haven’t Made Your Mind Up Yet?

An Intimate Wedding

If none of this has helped you make your decision yet and you’re still torn between the two, I’m happy to let you know there is a middle ground that I have already mentioned. An intimate wedding is a perfect middle ground between an elopement and a big wedding. Depending on what you want your intimate wedding to look like you will still have to find a venue and plan a typical wedding but you will have a smaller guest count to entertain.

You can even elope somewhere too and blend the two together. You might be asking what that would look like?

Day 1: Get ready with family/friends, have your ceremony, and a reception/intimate dinner to end the day.

Day 2: Go on a sunrise or sunset adventure with your photographer, exchange private vows, and do an activity you love together.

What’s My Favorite Type of Elopement?

An Adventure Elopement

If you’re a couple that loves to be in nature and exploring the beauty of our world, then an adventure elopement is for you. How incredible does it sound to take a helicopter flight to remote mountaintops or glacier or fly to a country you have been dreaming of exploring like New Zealand or Iceland? Does spending a full day or weekend having the adventure of a lifetime while committing your life to the person you love most get you super excited?

Then you might need to consider doing an adventure elopement!

Are You Still Undecided?

Then consider a blend of the two! There’s different ways that could look like so here are a few ideas to get you started.

Destination elopement with a post celebration at home:

• Part 1: Elope in the destination of your dreams with just your partner having the day you always dreamed of
• Part 2: Celebrate with your family and friends by throwing a reception party when you get home

Intimate destination wedding with a day after adventure elopement

• Day 1: Celebrate with your closest family and friends by getting married and having an intimate celebration after
• Day 2: Plan an epic adventure with your partner where you can exchange your vows and do different activities that excite you

Intimate local wedding with an adventure elopement after

• Day 1: Have an intimate backyard wedding with your family and friends at home celebrating your love
• Day 2: Go explore your favorite local spot with your partner and say your vows

Final Thoughts

As you can see there are many ways that you can get married and there’s no right or wrong answer. There’s only what’s best for you and what will make you both happy on your wedding day. That is completely for you both to decide.

If you need more resources to help you can checkout some of these blogs: 10 Reasons Why You should Elope, How Much Does It Cost To Elope, and The Top 10 Places To Elope In The World.

If you’re interested in meeting and wanting to book me as your photographer you can fill out the inquiry form below or contact me here. For more information on my packages, pricing, and what I include go to my pricing page for more.